We were at camp… Rattle and I introduced ourselves to Milkman, who was preparing his dinner. His tent was pitched in the only grove of trees near the fire ring, so Rattle went to find a place to pitch near his as I started back toward a grove about 100 feet away. I had to poop, and it seemed like the place one might poop at this campsite. I confirmed this and started getting ready. I got out my TP and spade, found suitable soil, took off my shorts, and got ready to squat.
I looked around and thought to myself, “Cool, I can see for a long way in so many directions. This is a pretty good and safe place to poop.” As I squatted and scanned my surroundings, I spotted her. A huge grizzly and two cubs had entered the meadow from a group of trees. They were about 45-50 feet in front of me and moving in my direction.
I threw my shorts back on and grabbed the bear spray from my pack. I’m still not sure why the shorts were the first thing to grab. Both of my legs were in the same leg hole in the shorts liner, but it was good enough. I had no intention of running. I started saying “Hey Bear” in a loud low voice and aimed my bear spray at the group. The cubs were actually quite big and looked pretty capable. The sow heard me and we locked eyes for a moment.
At just this moment Milkman, who saw her from the fire ring about 150 ft away, started yelling “Get out of here bear!” My first thought was, “Oh shit, don’t yell!”. My immediate second thought was “Oh good, it’s working!”. She stood on her hind legs, looked at him, sniffed the air, looked at me, and turned. The fur on her body rippled as she and her cubs ran in the opposite direction.
The sow and her cubs didn’t immediately leave. They circled widely around the camp toward the mountain and then ambled slowly along the mountain’s treeline hundreds of yards away. They went in and out of the forest a few times and even stalked an Elk with a calf for a while before disappearing from view.
All three of us were really glad to have additional company that might.
I must say this:. If a bear was going to scare the shit out of me, now would have been the time. But it didn’t. After everything in my body relaxed, Rattle came back with me and was my cat hole lookout while I finally finished my business.
UPDATE:
We ran into Milkman while passing through Old Faithful Village the next day. I got to buy him a much deserved and very appropriately named beer for being there the night before!